Book Chat Issue #88
The grass is always greener
Hello reading friends,
This week I went down a rabbit hole of comparing myself to others. It’s never a good idea. I fell into the trap of looking at how many subscribers other book-related newsletters have, and decided I was falling short because some people have thousands of subscribers, whereas I have a few hundred. (But you’re all lovely).
I started to feel glum about my lack of “success” and shared my thoughts with my good friend Abigail who said she didn’t think I’d ever been interested in numbers.
And you know, she’s right.
It’s not important how many people read this newsletter, I’m just glad you’re here and I appreciate every one of you. I’m also convinced that I have the best, most discerning, readers.*
Sometimes I imagine what it would feel like to be famous (or even just moderately well-known) and think it would involve a lot of pressure and I don’t like that idea at all.
For me, success is being able to share some great books you might enjoy.
*I wouldn’t mind a couple more subscribers, so if you have any like-minded readerly friends who’d enjoy this newsletter, please share.
What I’ve been reading
This week I’m recommending an emotionally challenging book. I struggled with whether this was a good idea, but I really enjoyed this book and I honestly thought it was mean not to share.
Leaving, by Roxana Robinson tells the story of Sarah and Warren, high school sweethearts who have grand plans for an adventurous life together, but a misunderstanding causes them to part and marry other people.
When they meet again at sixty, their lives are very different. Sarah is divorced and lives on a beautiful farm outside New York with her dog Bella, and Warren, an architect, is married and lives in Boston.
They are inevitably drawn to one another and as their love is rekindled they have to face the consequences of making a new life together.
I know this all sounds rather like a cliché, but the book is both poignant and honest. It’s also heartbreaking in places.
At home Bella comes out of the mudroom and Sarah pulls up in the driveway. Bella flattens her ears and licks her mouth discreetly, just a glimpse, a pale, flexible curl, wagging. Sarah begins to cry.
She gets out of the car and crouches, weeping, beside the dog. At once Bella turns formal and solemn. She lowers her head next to Sarah’s and Sarah puts her arms around her.
The writing is spare and thought-provoking. What makes a good marriage? What do we owe our children? What do we owe ourselves in terms of happiness? It made me think a lot and I love books that do that. Highly recommended.
What I’ve been eating
Do you ever feel that your meals just don’t measure up to the ones you see on social media? I often feel like that, even though I know I’m guilty of adding to the problem by only posting pictures of dishes that have turned out well. Today I thought I’d redress that imbalance by sharing a couple of recent efforts which we delicious, but looked fairly ordinary.
My friends know that I’m a chronic ‘user-upper’. I hate wasting food and will often pat myself on the back when I’ve used up all the left-overs in the fridge. It’s a family trait stemming from my early childhood where my mother had a lot of mouths to feed and no extra money. We never went hungry, but she was economical, and could make a meal out of practically nothing. She never wasted anything and my sisters and I grew up doing just the same.
As an example, a few days ago I made myself a lunch bowl consisting of some left-over rice, the last quarter of an avocado, a slightly squishy tomato and half a zucchini. I cooked all these things together and added a fried egg. Then I sprinkled it with some light soy sauce to give it a slightly asian feel. It looked a bit weird, but it was tasty.
Then I made a blueberry cake using this Smitten Kitchen recipe, so I could use up an over-supply of frozen berries I rescued from my daughter’s freezer when she was moving house. I fiddled around with the recipe a bit, reducing the amount of sugar and butter and using wholemeal flour to make it more healthy. All the berries dropped to the bottom so it was technically a failure, but hey, it tasted good.
What have you been eating lately? Got any recipes to share?
Book Club
Our book club meeting was small, but fun. We talked about what it would be like to grow up in a religious community and the shackles and expectations placed on women throughout history. We also chatted about the author James McBride and his incredible story, and about how we sometimes struggle to read the ‘book club’ book when there are other more tantalising books vying for our attention.
As always, it was wonderful to chat to other book lovers about the delights of reading.
Watch this space for the next book club pick!
Well that’s all for this issue.
Look after yourself and happy reading,
Marg xxx
Hi there! I’m a long time reader of your newsletter but first time commenting! Your email made my morning today, I read your message over my coffee. Thank you. Abi x
Marg, your thoughtful, excellent writing brings the books you read and the dishes you prepare to life, along with interesting tidbits about your life in Australia. It’s too bad that numbers come into the equation. Good work should be enough.
I also sometimes fall down the same rabbit hole of self doubt after comparing myself to others, both content and numbers. It’s self-defeating but hard to avoid. But you have to remember—no one does it quite like you!
I really enjoyed our little book club meeting—hopefully more folks will join next time. And I think you’re on to something with posting dishes that either fail or don’t look so great—happens to me all the time. And sometimes those make the best stories.
And I’m with you and Hoang—never waste anything! For me, it comes from being the daughter of Depression and WW2-era parents who lived through shortages and rationing and never forgot it, no matter how well off they became later on.